Throwing Marshmallows

Sometimes I am amazed to hear the things that come out of my mouth as a mom. For example:

Jason, please stop eating Kyle’s legos…

What makes it even more wonderful is that this is the second night that I have said this…

In other news, I am still working on getting my old blog posts migrated over to the new Throwing Marshmallows. Hopefully it will be up and running soon! I will be sure to let you know…

OK, so I got a real kick out of this one…

Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.

- Anonymous

I came across this quote in my morning reading and wanted to capture it here:

Meditation is a process of lightening up, of trusting the basic goodness of what we have and who we are, and of realizing that any wisdom that exists, exists in what we have already. Our wisdom is all mixed up with what we call our neurosis. Our brilliance, our juiciness, our spiciness, is all mixed up with our craziness and our confusion, therefore it doesn’t do any good to try to get rid of our so-called negative aspects, because in that process we also get rid of our basic wonderfulness. We can lead our life so as to become more awake to who we are and what we’re doing rather than trying to improve or change or get rid of who we are or what we’re doing.

- Pema Chodron in The Wisdom of No Escape

I have spent much of my life not being satisfied…not being happy with who I am. Wanting to “fix” myself. Because if I fixed myself, that would fix everything around me and everyone (including me) would be happy.

I have been doing a lot of personal work over the past year and one of the biggest changes that I am seeing is that I am becoming more comfortable with who I am, warts and all. Honestly ok with it, not just ok because I am “supposed” to be ok. Which I guess is a good thing seeing as I am turning 40 in June!

It is very easy for us to think that we have control over more than we really do and that is the trap that I found myself in. I somehow thought that I had the power to fix everything and everyone and if things were not working out it was because I was not good enough or had not tried hard enough. Living my life this way finally caught up with me…I was (am!) exhausted from trying to control everything and everyone.

I have been slowly working on letting go. I still have a long way to go. But I am encouraged that the more I let go, the easier things become. This does not mean that life has gotten easier. To be honest, life has stayed just the way that it always has been…challenging, frustrating, difficult, yet also exciting and, yes, even enjoyable.

What has changed is me. It seems counterintuitive in a way…the more that I let go and stop trying so hard, the easier things become. But I am seeing that this is true.

I am most definitely not perfect in this area. But I am finding that the less I look to fix things in my life, the more likely a solution will appear. So I am working on sitting with things that are bothering me rather than trying to change them. Being with them. Recognizing that these problems do indeed exist and that is ok. Trusting that things will work out when they are meant to and that I will be ok. And amazingly they do and I am.

It will be interesting to see what the next year brings…

- Stephanie

When asked why he was sitting on the floor whining, Kyle responded:

It is only because Jason dropped the dog on me…

(and yes, he was talking about Ellie…)

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” - Mahatma Gandhi

I saw this quote in a sig line on one of my email lists:

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
- Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

I can definitely relate. I find that I sometimes have a mental block when it comes to deadlines…if I know that I have to do something, then I tend to not want to do it…even if it is something that I enjoy. I work much better without the pressure of a deadline…

When I read things like this, I really wish that Benjamin Franklin was still around to remind us that:

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.

I find it very ironic that the same George Bush that said in his State of the Union speech “On matters of justice, we must trust in the wisdom of our founders and empower judges who understand that the Constitution means what it says.” seems to totally miss the whole idea of separation of powers and the idea that the president is not above the law.

Hmm….now there is a thought.

I was looking for a quote for an article I am writing for the next VaHomeschoolers newsletter and came across the following:

Someone has well said, “Success is a journey, not a destination.” Happiness is to be found along the way, not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it is too late. Today, this hour, this minute is the day, the hour, the minute for each of us to sense the fact that life is good, with all of its trials and troubles, and perhaps more interesting because of them—Robert R. Updegraff

I found a different quote to use with my article, but still wanted to save this one…

I saw this quote in someone’s signature line:

I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult. - E. B. White

I first heard the Throwing Marshmallows quote after which this blog is named when I was reading the Unschooling.com bulletin boards years ago. I loved it and asked the author if I could use it as my signature line. She agreed. I don’t remember how long I used it as a sig line. When I started thinking about a name for my blog, that quote came back to me and seemed like a perfect name. But somehow I had lost the name of the person who had said it! I tried going back to unschooling.com, but could not find any reference to it. I also tried googling it, but no luck. So I decided to attribute it to “anonymous”.

This morning I got an email from a woman who said that she was the originator of that quote! Yea! Finally. A name to go with the quote!

So thank you Barbara Lamping for your wonderfully visual and accurate quote:

“Learning can only happen when a child is interested. If he’s not interested it’s like throwing marshmallows at his head and calling it eating.” - Barbara Lamping

I read this quote today and it stuck with me…

“The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.”

- Bertrand Russel

“I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.”– Ashleigh Brilliant

I saw this quote over at Brave Writer and what can I say, it spoke to me. On a couple of different levels.

My days have been attacking me all at once lately (which explains the sporadic blogging). Hope I can get control of them soon…

~Stephanie

Said when looking for a snack to tide him over before dinner:

Mommy…I need something to appetize me!

Gotta love those 6 year olds!

~Stephanie

My friend Shay Seaborne likes to say this and I find myself using it quite a bit when talking to new homeschoolers:

There is no such thing as an educational emergency.

Just a reminder to remember to relax and that it is ok to put things aside if you are hitting a wall. You can always learn something another day. It does not have to be learned today.

~Stephanie