Throwing Marshmallows

My Grandmother died last night. We knew that it was coming, but it still seemed to go way faster then we expected.

A year ago, at 82, my Grandmother was diagnosed with liver cancer. This took us all by surprise as she was one of the healthiest people I knew. She walked everywhere, lived at home by herself and did not have any major medical problems. The only reason she found out was because her hairdresser thought that she looked a little yellow and she went to get it checked out. Turns out that there was a cancerous growth growing. After weighing the options, she decided to give chemo a try. She was wary of loosing her standard of living (and her ability to enjoy a good meal…one of her true pleasures in life)  but wanted to give it a try. She took extremely well to the treatment and it started working. She never lost her appetite, maintained a decent energy level and best of all, the tumor stopped growing. She was healthy enough to come down to Ocean City with my dad this past summer to spend time with me and the boys. And she came down to Virginia in the fall to see one of Kyle’s soccer games. She seemed to be doing extremely well. Until this month. The chemo stopped working and the tumor was growing again. They tried a different chemo but that caused blood clots in her legs and she decided that was enough. She decided that this was time and stopped the chemo a few weeks ago.

I spoke with her on Mother’s Day. We had a longer then usual conversation…talked about how she was feeling, that she had just gotten a wheelchair and was hoping that would help her get her energy back. That my dad was getting her a hospital bed because she was having trouble getting in and out of hers. That she was very tired. This was surprising to me as she rarely complained. We talked about the boys, what they were up to, about the camp we were going to. She loved hearing about the boys (her only great-grandchildren). All in all a wonderful conversation. I sent her a thank you letter that Jason had written, a picture Kyle had drawn as well as the pictures from our last trip to the beach (with the boys on their bannana bikes).

At that point she started going downhill. By the time we got back from camp on Thursday (less then 2 weeks after Mother’s Day), the hospice folks were saying that they did not expect her to last another week. I was going to go up on Sunday, but by then it was apparent that it was progressing very quickly. Sunday she fell into a coma and died at 11:35pm.

So we knew that it was coming. But it happened so quickly. Which was a good thing for her as she had only a couple of weeks of not feeling herself and an even shorter time of really being out of it. But it is still strange for me to adjust to, as she was always so fit and healthy.

My Grandmother and I were not extremely close, but she has always been a presence in my life and I will miss her a lot. I loved my visits to her house when we were growing up. She saved some of my Aunt’s toys for me to play with. My brother and I used to slide down the outside door to the basement. I remember my Grandmother mostly in the kitchen, cooking and I remember the hustle and bustle of my aunt and uncles around the small kitchen table. She was watching us when the the car crashed into our porch up in New York, leaving the chip in the stone steps. And she was there countless other times throughout my life.

My Grandmother always bought us cookies from the bakery around the corner when we visited. Butter cookies with sprinkles mostly. Sometimes black and white frosted cookies. And we always had crumb buns. Yum. Everytime she came to visit she brought me cookies and crumb buns, even after I had graduated college and had my own family. I love that the boys remember these cookies as well.

She never missed a holiday or a birthday. The card always showed up a couple of days before without fail. Although I don’t remember her saying it, I always got a sense that she loved us and I know that she was so thrilled with the boys. Always wanting to know what they were up to. I made her a photo calendar every year and she told me that she would say good morning to the boys on her refrigerator and talk to them periodically through out the day.

She had very simple needs and always seemed to me to be very content. She rarely bought herself things that she did not need and the only major changes in her house were things that her children bought her. I remember talking with her about her family when I was in my geneology phase. She told me that her family never really did anything exciting and was not sure what I was looking for. Then proceeded to talk about how her mother came over here at 16 (I think, I will need to go look it up) by herself from Austria! I do wish that we had talked more about her life, but she was not a huge talker. That was just the way she was.

I realized today that she lived on her own for 20 years as a widow. My Grandfather died when I was 17. We had a wonderful party for her when she turned 80 and she really did have a wonderful last few years and a good life. And she died at home with her family. She is survived by 4 children, 7 grandchildren and 2 great-grandsons. And she will be deeply missed.

 Grandma at 80 with her Grandkids (minus my brother) and her Great-Grandkids

My 38th birthday is on Friday. When I got home from camp this past Thursday, my birthday card, signed by her, was waiting for me. Thank you Grandma.

~Steph

We are off! We are heading about an hour north outside of Frederick, MD to Rhubarb Jam’s Homeschool camp. It looks to be a lot of fun (we have never been before, but are going with the Wilkinsons, our homeschool friends from Ocean City).

We will be in heated dorms with electricity but it is in a state park and we will have lots to do. The families are responsible on their own for breakfast and lunch and then we share making dinners. Each family comes up with fun activities as well.

Wish us luck! And you won’t be hearing from me probably until later this week as I will not …gasp!… have internet access! So it will be quiet here on Throwing Marshmallows for a few days, but please know that the boys and I are having a blast (poor Jeff has that pesky thing known as a company to run so he can’t come). But hopefully I will have some great pictures and some great stories to tell when we get home!

~Steph

Natalie over on Homeschool Cafe has a great post on Silencing Homeschool Critics Without Statistics. She makes the point that you do not need facts and figures and “proof”, sometimes all you need to do is ask a question or two back to help them look at things from a different point of view.

I have started pointing out to people when they ask questions like “aren’t you concerned about socialization” or “aren’t you worried about them getting into college” that of course I am concerned about these things. Of course I want my kids to grow up and be functioning adults. And after much reading and research I choose to homeschool. So maybe, just maybe, it is possible to homeschool and raise functional adults. Ya think?

I really do think that most people (at least the ones that I come across) are well-meaning and genuinely interested or curious. It is just something with which they are not familiar. Homeschooling does require a bit of a paridigm shift…you have to think outside the box and question commonly held and accepted beliefs. See how socialization can occur without school. See how learning can happen without grades or tests (at least for us). One warning though…homeschooling can lead to the questioning of many these beliefs…but that is half the fun!

I actually enjoy the looks of surprise when people find out that I homeschool. I do not fit many people’s image of a typical homeschooler. I am a democrat, I am a Unitarian Universalist, and for the most part I am a fairly normal person. Really, I am! So it surprises people to find out that I homeschool. The interesting thing is that the homeschool community actually is very diverse…people from all faiths, all political points of view. There are about as many reasons to homeschool as there are homeschoolers. You would be surprised.

But I like the idea that I can help someone expand their understanding of homeschooling and I am always willing to talk about it. Jeff has asked me many times why I always wind up talking about homeschooling…I think the reason is that most people ask me about my kids..and then the next normal question is what grade are they in and do they enjoy school. Which leads to homeschooling…so it really is not my fault! But it is fun…

~Steph

There is a new post over on Life Without School by new featured author Cyndie Kimball. Check out her first post…I love the parallels she draws between homeschooling and learning to spin spin yarn. Good things to think about.

~Steph

Found another notebook with more “baby moments”.  This time for Jason…going really far back. It is fun to remember Jason “back then” and now see him as a 9 year old…hard to believe sometimes. Also makes me wish that I had a blog back then!

Novemeber 18, 1997 - When Mommy asked Jason to “go get his ball” he looked for it, found it across the room and brought it back. He is getting smarter and smarter every day!

November 27, 1997 - Thanksgiving day. Jason was in Granny Hoffmann’s kitchen when he all of a sudden decided to stand up all on his own!

Last few weeks in November 1997 - Mommy and Daddy have really noticed that Jason was really understanding what was being said. He could go get his ball for Daddy, give his cup to Mommy and all sorts of other things. And he was defintiely making his opinions known.

Novemeber 28th 1997 - Jason learned a new game - throw things down the stairs. he would get Eyore and drop him down the stairs and laugh and peer over the edge to see where he landed.

Decemeber 7 1997 - Jason took a few tottering steps toward Granny. Daddy didn’t believe it, but later that day Jason took a few more!

A few days before Jason’s 1st Birthday - Mom and Dad left Jason with Granny for the evening. Jason had a wonderful time, except when Granny would mention Mommy or Daddy. His lower lip would start to pout. This was the first time Jason showed that remembered who Mommy and Daddy were when they were gone.

December 10, 1997 - Jason clapped his hands while eating lunch with Mom.

December 22, 1997 - Jason threw his first real temper tantrum! Jason wanted to drink out of Mommy’s glass of soda. Mommy said ”no” and asked him if he wanted his own drink. Jason immediately started crying, threw his head back, arched his back and slid from the couch onto the floor. As soon as Mommy showed him his own cup, the tears immediately stopped and he was his own happy-go-lucky self again. 

December 27, 1997 - Jason started going down the stairs backwards. Mommy or Daddy would have to turn him around to get him started, but from there on, he could do it himself.

December 30, 1997 - Jason started turning himself backwards before going dwon the stairs with no help from Mommy or Daddy.

April 1998 - Jason discovered that he could go down the slide at the playground all by himself. The smile on his face was priceless.

32 months old - Daddy was tickling Jason and Jason said “You can not tickle me!” So Daddy said that he would eat him instead. Jason said “You can not eat me!” When Daddy asked why, Jason responded “Because I am not food!”

32 months old - Jason informed Mommy that there were monsters living in the basement, but it was OK because they were nice monsters. There was a Mommy, a Daddy and a Baby monster. The Baby monster loved the Mommy and Daddy monster. Upon further questioning, Mommy found out that the monsters did not have any teeth and that they liked doing laundry.

My friend Barb and her family were highlighted in this tv news piece on unschooling. Be sure to click on “Leaving Normal School Behind” to see the news clip.

Barb and her boys did a wonderful job at representing homeschoolers. I love some of her quotes even if the reporter did misrepresent a few things (he said that her kids will not receive a diploma and would have to take the GED or take an online course to get a certificate of completion…while it is true that her kids will not receive a diploma from the state of Virginia, she can issue her own diploma. And yes, homeschooled kids without a state issued diploma can and do get into colleges but that is the subject for a different post).

It was fun to see Barb’s boys…what I want to know is where the piles of books and papers and the overflowing bookcases were…at least that is how my house looks!

Update: Barb has posted more information about the interview on her blog. I find it really interesting that even with a story on unschooling they had to have their obligatory “mom teaching kids at the kitchen table” shot. Too funny.

~Steph

OK, so this is kind of goofy, but the first time we saw Hampster Dance we all just about died laughing. I came across it again, so I figured that I would save it here. I think I liked it better the first time we saw it because the music was a bit longer and did not repeat as much, but it still is really funny.

So enjoy the hampsters….

~Steph

Yes, I said socks. I love my new socks. I have been on a search for comfortable, thick, long lasting socks for quite awhile now. I hate really thin socks…they make my shoes feel hard and uncomfortable and don’t keep my feet warm. I had found some really wonderful “world’s softest socks” but they wound up wearing out in a few months. The world’s softest socks just are not very good if I end up with a hole in the heel. I really don’t think that I am that hard on socks…but I just could not find any that I really, really liked.

Until I found Maggie’s Organic Short Sports Socks. These socks are heaven! They are soft, they are thick, they are oh so comfortable. They fit my feet like a glove. I love wearing them.

Yes, I know…in the big grand scheme of things, my search for the perfect pair of socks is pretty low on the list of Important Things. But sometimes you have got to enjoy the simple things in life. Like putting on a good pair of really comfortable socks.

~Steph

  I keep driving by our local elementary school where they have posted that the Standards of Learning (SOL) tests are happening this week. This time of year makes me doubly glad that we are not in school. Jason would be in 3rd grade…which means that SOLs would have been a really big deal this year (I think that for some reason 3rd, 5th and 8th are important years leading up to high school where every year “counts”). I remember my friends’ daughter’s 3rd grade year…she took “SOL prep” classes 3 afternoons a week and her mom would swing by and pick her up at 5pm on her way home from work. Otherwise the daughter would not get home until 5:30 on the bus. I do sometimes feel like we have dodged a bullet! The emphasis put on standardized testing in schools nowadays drives me nuts.

But enough about school…this is what we got to do on Wednesday!

 

 Breezy Point is a regular field trip for a couple of the homeschool groups I belong to and is only about an hour away up in Maryland. This is the first year that we made it and I am so glad that we did! You could not ask for a nicer place…the first thing that Jason said after he got out of the car was “Mommy…it is so quiet here!”. And it was. Our group of 9 families were the only ones on the beach.

There is a great playground right off the beach, bathrooms, showers, and of course the beach and an enclosed swimming area on the bay. Oh, and did I mention the shark’s teeth? They are all over the beach! The kids (and moms!) had fun sifting through the sand to see what they could find. We found many, many sharks teeth (way cool!), lots of neat polished stones and even some sea glass.

Hanging out on the playground

Kyle pauses for a drink

  

 

 

 

~Steph

My Sheltering Kids post is included in this go around of the homeschool Country Fair. This is the first time I have done something like this…it is a fun concept…basically people submit their homeschool-related blog posts and the organizers put together a “Country Fair” - a single place where folks can go browse posts on different homeschool topics. Check it out!

I love blogs…there is so much fun stuff to do and read and learn….

~Steph

Found another great author! I picked up The Conch Bearer on tape for us to listen to in the car and we really enjoyed it. Set in India, it is about a boy who winds up being chosen as the Conch Bearer…a magical item that has been stolen. The Brotherhood of the Conch needs help in getting it back. The audio book was really well done, really brought us into the story of the journey. Lots of magic and really interesting backdrop of a different culture.

And there is a sequel - The Mirror of Fire and Dreaming This picked up the story after Anand has been accepted into the Brotherhood. He has to go to save Master Healer Abhaydatta and in doing so travels back in time. It is subtitled Book II of the Brotherhood of the Conch, so hopefully that means that there are more to come.

~Steph

I was going through an old notebook and found that I had written down some cute things that they boys had said or done when they were little. Since I am worried that I will most likely loose the book (and some things have already been lost because of a water spill!) I thought that I would record these here.

Kyle’s Words at 22 months: look, bye-bye, ma, meow, on-off, ah-ha-ha-ha, ow, mine, juice, football, open, wow, apple, go, boon (balloon)

Kyle’s Words at 24 months: mama, dade, jason, grandma, grandpa, pops, nana, granny, ink, no, mine, ow, uh-oh, vitamins, zeke/zekester, down, hat, out, crackers, bye-bye, stop, go, nurse, eye, that, babe, book, hello, eric, batman, juice, milk, all, all done, more, doggie, yucky, eww, on, off, kyle, cheese, car, truck, woof, moo, baby, please

At 3 years old, Kyle started going through another “why” stage. Some of my favorites were “Why are my legs long?” and “Why do I have fur on my arms?”

August 2003 - When Kyle moved into his car booster seat he was so excited that he could “buckle myself out”! 

September 2003 - Kyle’s favorite word has become “thingamabobby”

One day when Kyle was being goofy, Jason said that “Kyle cut a comical figure” and he was right!

Heard in the backseat of the car:
Jason: Hey Kyle! Why did the car hit the chicken?
Kyle: Looking around…there are no chickens….
Jason: Because the chicken hit the car! (dissolves into laughter…)

Hmmm…I think that I have a few more notebooks lying around…I think I may have to go dig them out…..

~Steph

Life Without School is featuring my Great Lesson to Re-learn post. Please check it out! It will be up for a couple of days until they post the next one.

LWoS is a fun group homeschooling blog that talks about the many different ways that we live our “life without school”. Definitely worth a read.

~Steph

The spammers I mean. Sigh. Not sure why they all of a sudden found me but they have. I have installed spam karma II which hopefully will help. I guess that we will see. Andrea or Don…if you see this, I will definitely take you up on getting a copy of your blacklist.

I also have re-set my comments so that only people who have an approved comment will be able to post without having to have their comments approved. So I apologize to my family and friends but as soon as you post your first comment, you will be able to comment without going through this extra step.

Does anyone actually go to these sites posted by spammers? I can not imagine that this is an effective marketing technique….

~Steph

Check out this really cool car commercial - very Rube Goldberg-ish. The boys found it fascinating. I remember seeing this a couple of years ago, but had forgotten about it.

You can read more about how they did it on Snopes and in Wikipedia. And despite what it might look like, it is not computer generated!

~Steph

 I thought that I would post more pictures from our time at the Native Lands traveling show. We went last Wednesday with 2 other homeschool families. It was held at Bull Run National Park and gave the kids a chance to learn more about Native Indians, Birds of Prey and Animals of the Land.

The Birds of Prey demonstation was really interesting.

The biggest hit by far was the archery range.

They had some really neat animals there…including a Bison, a Zebra and a huge Brahma Bull

We hung around awhile afterwards so the kids could hang out a bit (amazing how quick the place cleared once the school buses left!). We got to talk with one of the animal guys and it was really interesting to hear about how they travel all over the country. Sure must be an interesting life!

~Steph

Still have a major cough and not as much energy, but starting to feel a bit more normal. We had a fun, relaxed day where things just sort of flowed very nicely. We got up and moving this morning and went to Jason’s OT. He enjoyed it and is working on something from there for me for mother’s day, but it is a secret. After that we came home and did a few miscellaneous things.

One thing that we found was a fun tangram website. Jason was way better at this then I was! We played it as a family and between the three of us got pretty good.

After that we decided to go and explore a new-to-us park. I had heard there was one really close by, but had never gone to check it out (don’t ask me why!) Had a really good time…there was a small creek and a path into the woods that we explored a bit. The boys rode their scooters a bit and chased each other all over.

After we got home, we read a bit more from the This Book is About Time by Marilyn Burns and learned about time zones, the international date line as well as the earlier clocks like the sundial and water clocks. The boys really want to make a water clock so I just need to try to round up a few things so we can give it a shot.

We finished up the day with the boys building with their legos and me actually cleaning out our closet. You can actually walk into it now! Definitely an improvement.

The nice thing about the day was that I actually felt like doing things…it has been a couple of days since I have been overly motivated. Colds do have a habit of doing that though, don’t they? And there never seems to be a good time to get a cold…hmmm…I am trying picture what that would look like! A time when lying around in bed all day would be fine, a time when there is nothing else going on, nothing that needs to be done. Do times like those exist? I guess not. If they do, I may need to try to find it…preferably when I am not sick!

~Steph

Good news. Kyle is feeling much better. Still a bit stuffy, mostly from allergies now I think. He is back running around like his old self. 

Bad news. I still feel awful. Why is it that they boys are laid up for a day or two but I am always laid low for at least a week?

Ah well. I think that I am over the worst of it. Still have a bad cough and feel hot and cold all the time, but the overall achiness seems to be getting better.

Off to get some sleep…I think that is the hardest part of being sick for me…going to bed at a decent time…

~Steph